Insanity Doesn't Last

While digging in the cabinet this evening attempting to find all the ingredients for a ten minute chicken recipe, I came across a completely full jar of Hershey's dark chocolate cocoa.  My heart started racing and I imagine dipping my finger into the delicious brownie batter I could make with this discovery.  For a moment I stood on my chair and began reminiscing about the days I used to make double batches of delicious brownies.  Then I realized that this was the first night in weeks I'd even considered making dinner an option and attempting to make brownies while also cooking dinner and getting the babies in bed at a decent hour would be a DISASTER!  So, sadly and with a sigh, I replaced the cocoa on the top shelf in the cabinet and bookmarked it in my mind for a calmer day when being the mom of a newborn and a two year old isn't so hectic and stressful.  Don't get me wrong, they're wonderful babies and I love them with all my heart, but I haven't quite got into the swing of things yet.  My two-year-old daughter, Ashlynn, is having a little trouble acclimating to not being the only one getting mommy's attention.  She loves her baby sister with all her heart and is a very nurturing soul in general, but being an only child for two years to a single mother can bring on some insecurities when there's a new attention hog in the house.  For the first couple of weeks after coming home from the hospital with baby Zephyr, I was dealing with a touch of post partum depression (nothing serious, just nightly tears and a short temper).  Poor Ashlynn was wrenched out of her usual routine and taken from house to house because mommy just couldn't do it on her own.  She had to learn not to jump on mommy while mommy's incision from the C-section was healing.  She couldn't be held and cuddled all the time and mommy couldn't chase her or pick her up (nothing over ten pounds for six weeks after the surgery).  We moved from my grandmother's house to my mom's house to my house and then back to my mom's on the weekends.  Bedtime became a stressful fight where one child would start to calm down and the other would need attention and I would jump from one baby to the other, attempting to get them both quiet at the same time so sleep could happen.  I'd start putting them down at 8 and not get them to sleep till 11.  By then my nerves would be fried and I would be exhausted and emotional.  My boyfriend, Mat, was amazing for those weeks when I just couldn't hold myself together.  Fortunately, it didn't last.  I began to stay home and be able to do it myself.  We're getting back on routine.  Ash is back in panties after having regressed to wearing diapers like her baby sister and she is doing tons of big girl stuff with mommy.  Today, she loaded the washer, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, and picked up all her toys.  We also spent time outside riding her new bike and kicking a ball back and forth.  Both babies were asleep by nine and I was able to study for an hour and a half!  So if you're feeling at the end of your rope, remember that routines help!  It may be rough getting into the routine again, but once you're there, you feel like supermom again and sleep is back!